The title says it all. Everybody tells us how foolish it is to run a marathon. Sometimes our doctors even tell us not to run so much. Still we persist. It is not that we run too hard for too many miles even as we add birthdays and should slow down. The Darwin Awards are given for people doing stupid things but require that the person be removed form the gene pool. Runners are not inclined to remove themselves from the gene pool, but they do have regrettable moments.

Jody was doing a long run with about a dozen others. We have our first water stop at a gas station. As we started to run, Jody pulled up beside me and offered some advice. He said that one should never set a brand new water bottle on top of a urinal.

While losing a water bottle is not all that much fun, it could be worse. There is nothing quite like training for months on end only to do something stupid to ruin it all. Tom had trained for an Ironman. It was three days before the race, which was in California. On an easy training run in the dark, Tom was running on a crushed granite trail with a few protruding tree roots. He was in the back of a group of a dozen or so, which blocked his view. He hit a root dead-on and broke his big toe. Running was out. He was planning on qualifying for the Hawaii Ironman, but instead he settled for quickly finding two others and biking the relay. He also never ran that trail in the dark again.

Suzy is my hero. She runs a marathon almost every month. She wins a couple of them each year, yet she retains the modesty of a back-of-the-pack runner. She was running in February when she felt a twinge of pain in her foot, but pain was never something to stop Suzy. She finished with a sore foot and then started training for Boston two months later. As her training progressed, the foot got worse. She would not let up, and held out for the race. Then, while running the Newton Hills, a severe jolt ripped through her foot, topping the dull growing pain that preceded it. She kept running. She finished Boston and went to the doctor when she returned home.

The doctor examined her and wondered how anyone could walk no less run a marathon with a foot like that. It seems she had partially torn her plantar tendon in Austin, then ripped it completely in Boston. Now comes the weird part. By completely ripping the tendon, it could actually heal faster. Suzy took it easy for a few weeks but kept on running, and it healed. Now the sharp reader out there may be asking why this is so foolish since she sort of did the right thing. Well, if you really have to ask, you are likely to be mentioned in "Stupid Runners, Part Two."

One runner I know well had run a couple marathons when he was listening to a vastly more experienced guy tell of his recent adventure in a 100-mile run. It covered some mountains in Virginia, and he finished in a little under 24 hours. The story was better told than I am telling, and the new runner was drawn in. He thought he would try a 100-miler in a year or so. He ran a 50-miler and thought the next logical step was to double that. After looking around, he heard that the toughest hundred in the country was the Leadville Trail 100 in the middle of Colorado. The elevation starts at ten thousand feet and goes up from there. While there are tougher courses, the cut-off time makes Leadville the hardest to finish. What could be a bigger challenge than to try the toughest challenge? This runner trained and trained-at low altitude and without hills. He put in lots of hours, long runs, and gym workouts. He had a crew and pacers all set. Pacers can join in after 50 miles.

In Leadville, the turnaround at 50 miles is a ghost town called Winfield. It is the final stop for many runners after they just climbed over Hope Pass and after coming down to Winfield; they have to turn around and go back over Hope. Some decline, others are pulled by the medical folks, while most just plain miss the time cut-off. This poor dude's legs were shot on the climb up Hope, the third mountain in the race and after 40 miles. As he descended the pass, his steps were like Tim Conway playing the Old Man on the Carol Burnett Show. It hurt to move, yet he had to at least make it down to the aid station. He missed the cut- off. His pacers did nothing all day but wait for hours for nothing to come.

It could have been the altitude. It could have been the mountain climbing. It could have been the distance. Regardless, he failed miserably. When Jody dropped his water bottle, he kept on running, relying on other water sources. Tom turned a broken toe into a first place Ironman relay, while Suzy finished Boston and then some with more than 100 marathons completed. The stupid ultra-runner took three more tries before he finished Leadville, but he did eventually make it two years ago.

Long-time readers may know who that last stupid runner is, me. One thing I have learned about myself and other runners. We sure do our share of stupid things-but we never quit.

Non runners Do the Dumbest Things