You've heard of the book, The Loneliness of the Long
Distance Runner. I've never read it, but its title creates
an image that I've never really understood. Perhaps one of the
most treasured aspects of being a runner is having time alone
to think, to feel, to sort things out.We all treasure our running time, each of us for different
reasons. Some of us want to put the stress of the day behind
us. Some of us want to set ourselves apart from everyone else.
Some of us enjoy the feeling of accomplishing something on our
own that few would even consider trying.
As the world sleeps through the winter, our runs can seem more
solitary than when life is all around. Most stay tucked inside
their warm houses, waiting for springtime to take the chill out
of the air. So, when we venture outside, we've got the world to
ourselves.
I remember a run on a winter morning a long time ago. I drove
out to the middle of nowhere to find a quiet trail to run on.
There was a dusting of snow on the ground and, there, the world
was a quiet place. Beginning to run, only my footfalls broke
the silence.
My legs were stiff and asking me to turn around. I ignored
them, knowing they would stop complaining soon. Earlier, when
the alarm had gone off, I wanted to keep sleeping. I had won
that battle as well; two small victories.
It seemed like even the animals stayed away as I wandered
through the woods that morning, though the tracks in the snow
showed they were there before me. The crisp air frosted my
breath and, by this time, my breathing mixed with my footfalls
to create a rhythm.
I felt effortless, no thought of distance, just moving through
the space around me. It was like I was a part of it all, even
though I was miles from home in the middle of a place I had
never been before.
I ran by fallen trees, along streams and through pine trees. I
ran over hills and through valleys. Off in the distance there
was nothing more than what was right in front of me, miles and
miles of solitude. I wasn't aware of speed, only movement. It
was like I was daydreaming, watching the world around me, but
locked safely inside myself.
I ran until the weight of the world was gone. By that time, my
car was miles away. It had started snowing and the flakes made
it feel like I was running in a snow globe. The peacefulness
was overwhelming, and I had to stop for a while to take it all
in.
Have you ever heard the sound of snowflakes landing in the
forest? Have you ever felt like the nearest person was a
hundred miles away? Somehow, that day, those sounds and those
feelings were exactly what I needed.
Running has always done that--given me what I need. When I was
in high school I needed identity. Afterwards, I needed
achievement. Some days, I've just needed a reason to be proud
of myself. Running has always delivered.
I turned around, and, following my footprints, returned the
same way I had gone. I was a bit reluctant as I approached the
end, not wanting the run to be over. I glanced back as I got
into my car, then I left that place feeling a thousand times
better than when I had arrived.
Perhaps some would call that loneliness, but I'm not one of
them. I've journeyed alone thousands of miles along quiet roads
and trails. While people I've known have spent their time
searching for the things they thought would make them happy,
I've spent my running time searching for what seemed more
valuable to me. And, as I've run, the treasures weren't found
in the world around me, but inside myself.
Loneliness? I guess I've never felt that. Alone? Well,
sometimes that's exactly what I need to be.